Let's address what everyone's been talking about - that is definitely Brett Favre's penis. I have seen that thing thousands of times between watching Brett get ready for games, watching him shower after games, watching him urinate, or watching him through the telescope I set up in that fake deer stand I built to keep an eye on him in Mississippi. Sometimes when I fall asleep, I dream about it - like this one dream, I was shopping at Target - you know, minding my own business. I saw Brett Favre's penis there - it was shopping for pre-paid cell phones. It looked like it couldn't decide between the Virgin Mobile or Boost Mobile options. It saw me and we made eye contact, and it started smiling...when suddenly, I realize I'm completely NAKED, and Brett Favre's penis wasn't smiling at me -- it was laughing hysterically... Pointing and laughing... It took a long time before I got the strength to talk to it again after that.
Where was I going with this - OH, yeah - so that's definitely his penis.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Non picture, description, or account of the game - 2010 so far...
You know in my haste, what with all the time I've been spending analyzing Brettfavre! interceptions lately, I realized that I haven't been keeping up on blog posts with game recaps... So here's week 1 - 3:
Week 1: LOSS, but hey, come on - this is New Orleans we're talking about here... They won the super bowl last year for gosh sakes!
Week 2: LOSS, but hey, come on - this is the Dolphins we're talking about here... They... um... almost made the playoffs last year...I think. Actually, I'll be honest. I didn't really prepare for this game. It was a rough week at work, and my boss was really riding me... What? Zygi? No, I meant at my other job. Yeah, that's right - I dance at a small club downtown, well at least they told me it was a club... come to think of it; it's not so much a club, as it is a small alley off of Chicago avenue.
Week 3: Detroit (doesn't count as a win since we didn't win by 100).
Week 4: Bye - like me!
Also - in the People who look like People file:
Tarvaris Jackson looks like the Week 5 starting quarterback for the Vikings based on how Brettfavre! has been playing...
Week 1: LOSS, but hey, come on - this is New Orleans we're talking about here... They won the super bowl last year for gosh sakes!
Week 2: LOSS, but hey, come on - this is the Dolphins we're talking about here... They... um... almost made the playoffs last year...I think. Actually, I'll be honest. I didn't really prepare for this game. It was a rough week at work, and my boss was really riding me... What? Zygi? No, I meant at my other job. Yeah, that's right - I dance at a small club downtown, well at least they told me it was a club... come to think of it; it's not so much a club, as it is a small alley off of Chicago avenue.
Week 3: Detroit (doesn't count as a win since we didn't win by 100).
Week 4: Bye - like me!
Also - in the People who look like People file:
Tarvaris Jackson looks like the Week 5 starting quarterback for the Vikings based on how Brettfavre! has been playing...
Friday, September 17, 2010
I'm back bitches!
OK, so I took a break for a while there while the vikings actually were looking promising for the last half of 2008 and the entire 2009 season. It was a great run. Brettfavre! did a great job. In fact, such a great job that my vikings were the first team ever to completely dominate an NFC championship game and somehow lose. For that, you can thank me. Brettfavre! had me so mesmerized in that game - what, with his shiny silver hair and those gradually loosening old man buttocks that I just couldn't focus...
I was trying to send Steve Hutchinson a text message with a picture of my wiener on it (you know - because I know Brettfavre! likes doing that, and I figured Steve Hutchinson might show him, and then he'd talk to me), but the darn thing just wasn't going through. I didn't want to miss the opportunity (since I already had the picture of my wiener cued up on the cell phone), so, you know, I just thought maybe if Tahi could run it out there for me, then he would see it... Then maybe Brettfavre! and I could get together at Red Lobster and share weiner photo stories. Just like Donovan McNabb and I used to do.
So there you have it. I really wish I could show you my wiener photo, but tell you the truth, you couldn't really see much anyway. So instead, here's a picture of a condom I'm having designed especially for me. It's made out of Carbon Nanotubes:
I was trying to send Steve Hutchinson a text message with a picture of my wiener on it (you know - because I know Brettfavre! likes doing that, and I figured Steve Hutchinson might show him, and then he'd talk to me), but the darn thing just wasn't going through. I didn't want to miss the opportunity (since I already had the picture of my wiener cued up on the cell phone), so, you know, I just thought maybe if Tahi could run it out there for me, then he would see it... Then maybe Brettfavre! and I could get together at Red Lobster and share weiner photo stories. Just like Donovan McNabb and I used to do.
So there you have it. I really wish I could show you my wiener photo, but tell you the truth, you couldn't really see much anyway. So instead, here's a picture of a condom I'm having designed especially for me. It's made out of Carbon Nanotubes:
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